How Gold Diggers Improve the Quality of Their Writing
When I was younger, my writing was influenced by the pain I felt.
I (felt I) was broken.
Anxiety was all-consuming.
Narcissistic men were my norm.
They didn’t see my presence as a gift and treated me like a burdensome tool.
I was a preyed-upon victim.
People with this demeanor, the one I had, never win.
They are caught in a loop of self-pity and worthlessness.
No one values something worthless.
My experience now couldn’t be more different.
I feared that choosing a better, softer life would worsen my writing.
I worried that people would no longer like me if my life were easier.
I liked the grittiness of being rejected by society.
BAHAHA.
As if women—black women—aren't rejected enough.
For me to also enjoy rejecting myself.
The people around me NOW adore me and hold space for me.
Back then, I was secretly addicted to being misunderstood because that is what my nervous system was comfortable with.
So, I unconsciously chose relationships that reinforced this habit.
Did you know that people who go to jail have an 83% recidivism rate within nine years?
You’re more likely to get divorced than to stay out of jail; the divorce rate is around 50%.
Even opening a restaurant, often considered a dumb business venture, has better odds.
Approximately 30% of restaurants survive for ten years.
You're more likely to experience a severe car accident in your LIFETIME than to stay out of jail for more than nine years once you've been.
This is because the behaviors surrounding the actions will likely continue because that is what the nervous system feels comfortable with…
Even if it is unsafe.
People also don’t tend to have the right resources, communities, and relational skills.
I'm not saying this to scare you, but this is what motivated me to change.
I did not want comfort to marry me to the same dynamics I grew up watching.
I knew I was destined for more.
Ask yourself: do I want to live the life that my mother lived?
Do I want to marry the type of man my mother married?
Do I like the relationship to money that my mother had?
If you answered no to these questions, you owe it to your future self to learn different versions of your authentic expression.
So, back to the main question: how do gold diggers improve their writing?
And before I answer this—please remember that the term gold digger does not affect me the way it affects many.
I don’t think expecting a man who wants to enjoy your presence and body to support you is controversial at all.
And I think the term gold digger in itself is a tool of the patriarchy used to police women (please stop referring to women as gold diggers lol).
Please keep in mind that even good men like sex—this is not a moral thing.
This is just a human thing.
Sex comes with lots of risks: STIs, pregnancies, and increased likelihood of UTIs.
It also absorbs your creative energy because it takes up so much space in our thoughts (e.g., shaving, communicating likes and dislikes, self-regulating with a hormonal attachment, etc).
Sex can be costly.
Personally, sex is not worth it unless a man values me enough to provide the relationship with time, monetary, and energetic investments.
Anyone who feels triggered by my perspective probably has values that do not align with mine.
How do gold diggers improve their writing?
1. We don't; we let it be what it is.
We accept that writing is just one piece of the magnitude of our value.
We do our best and write consistently, but because we've healed our self-worth issues, the pressure isn't what it used to be.
We are seen in spaces outside of the paper.
We have powers just as strong as the pen.
We are magnetic, so we aren't as attached to the validation we get from writing.
2. We live life, have vibrant experiences, tap into the sensations that are true to us, thrive, and rejoice.
We experience the fullness of our anger, sadness, rage, happiness, and comfort, giving others a glimpse of that.
3. We do lots of reading.
Lots of exploring pleasure.
We have the free time to lose ourselves in a book or to explore a new topic because we have committed to softness, ease, and success.
We know we are worthy of investment—from ourselves and others.
I’m excited to announce that I have some 1-on-1 coaching slots available for the month of August.
If you are feeling called to
heal your nervous system (digest your anger towards men, cease your unconscious addiction to stress, and make peace your new normal),
embody dream girl energy,
manifest men who support your softest life, and
learn necessary relational skills (feminine communication and discernment),