How to use men to attract your dream life

There is a rhythm to everything—to ease of life, to money, and indeed to men.

And I'm telling you—things get so much easier when you can find that pulse and stay on the beat.

There are people uglier, dumber, and less talented than you (calling a spade a spade) living the life you deserve because they stopped getting in their own way a little earlier.

And the beauty of inner work and alignment is that it's pretty easy once you understand the difference between your sympathetic and parasympathetic systems…

Healing for someone who is in a state of freeze (disheartened, depressive, and just downright out of it) looks different than for someone who is anxious and in a state of fight or flight (agitated, reactive, nervous).

How to use men to attract your dream life - Things I did that you can do, too:

• Process Your Anger:

  • I had to hold space for my anger towards men because it was a trauma response and extremely disregulating to my nervous system.

  • This was crucial in creating space for constructive interactions.

  • Otherwise this anger is going to unconsciously be expressed through your body language and that will strain your dynamic with good men.

• Acknowledge Men's Intelligence:

  • Accept that men are not children.

  • They are brilliant.

  • Their seeming lack of sense comes from being socialized to prioritize themselves at the expense of others (usually women who lack self-esteem and discernment).

• Stop Dating 50/50 Men:

  • I stopped dating men who believed in 50/50 or didn't view me as the dream girl.

  • This helped me focus on relationships where I was truly valued and cherished.

  • If a man doesn't see you as his dream girl... there's no amount of service, kindness, or care that you can give to change his unconscious relational patterns.

• Balance Your Nervous System:

  • Change can't only happen in the mind; you can't just ignore the truth of your body.

  • Sure you can manifest whatever you want but can you hold the vibration of that desire?

  • Your nervous system has to adjust so that the 3D can match the quantum realm.

• Define Roles Clearly:

  • I wasn't willing to ACT like men were providing me value, so I had to get really clear on what the value I wanted to receive from them was.

  • I defined what my dream life looked like and assigned roles for the men in my life (e.g., providers, protectors, confidants). This clarity helped me attract the right kind of support.

• Surround Yourself with Self-Actualized Men:

  • I started surrounding myself with self-actualized men who did not make excuses for how I wanted them to show up for me.

  • This ensured I was supported by individuals who respected my needs.

  • A man's presence in your life is more of a liability, so he MUST make your life easier in TANGIBLE ways—it's better to have no man around than one who doesn't fit the above description.

• Decenter, then Reposition Men in Your Life:

  • In this process, I realized that men could actually be very helpful when it comes to attracting my dream life.

  • Recognizing their potential role was a game-changer...

  • But the life I wanted which is full of community, self care, and personal aspirations took priority.

• Learn Feminine Communication Skills:

  • I learned feminine communication skills to talk to men in a way that got my needs met while bypassing their ego.

  • This made interactions smoother and more productive.

I’m excited to announce that I have some 1-on-1 coaching slots available for the month of August.

If you are feeling called to

1. heal your nervous system (digest your anger towards men, cease your unconscious addiction to stress, and make peace your new normal),

2. embody dream girl energy,

3. manifest men who support your softest life, and

4. learn necessary relational skills (feminine communication and discernment),

Then apply for a free curiosity call here.