returning to my first love
I didn’t start my Substack to receive payment from it.
I started this blog to nurture a relationship with my audience and provide free content.
But little Kylie—she always wanted to be a writer.
Writing and reading were her safe spaces.
They were where she went to be free, to nurture herself, and to tend to her curiosities.
At some point, I gave up on being a writer.
This started when I felt that everyone at NYU was significantly “better” at it than I was.
The realization came gradually, like when you first start letting go of all those friends constantly telling jokes at your expense.
Then, I slowly started resenting writing because of all the papers—it became a chore.
Comparison—I understand now—is the thief of joy.
I cried when I saw that I got my first paid subscriber on here.
I love being generous, and one reason for that is that it shows I value the exchange between myself and another person.
I also believe that being good to other women is an auspicious and sacred act.
I know not everyone shares this perspective, and I don’t judge them for it—but I know how good it feels to thank people for what they do for me.
My first paid Substack subscriber’s gesture reminded me that I am still a writer—that people can find pleasure and even a more vibrant life with the support of my written words.
I barely realized that I had returned to something that had brought me so much joy since childhood.
Thank you so much to everyone who allows me to support you through your journey to a more soft life.
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