Don't fall for the temp check
Setting Boundaries: Navigating Temperature Checks and Asserting Your Worth
How to set a boundary (in my order from favorite to least):
Remove their access to you and don’t engage them. This can be blocking their number, getting up from your seat and leaving the date, or simply staring at him with a blank face.
Nasty niceness *cue the lady who said “Then put everything in my name” to shut down her husband’s delusions*
Feeling statements which are reserved for men who have a track record of being good to you.
“If __(grievance)__, then__(consequence)__, because I feel __(emotion)__ when someone __(whatever happened without an emotional overlay)__.” P.S. You have to stand on business if there is no change.
Temperature checking is when a man tests you to see how much you let him get away with before setting a consequence.
A man can try this to check how sexual you’ll let him get; if you let him invite you out on a low-effort date; or whether he has to be considerate towards you to keep you around.
It can be insidious.
One man recently tried to ask me out on a last-minute date---I did not respond.
He soon asked my availability so we could schedule something for the future.
Another man once said to me, “There’s a saying that goes if I can make you giggle, I can make those cheeks jiggle.”
We never spoke again.
And the thing is, I am the type of person who loves laughing.
I’m unserious about many things.
But, a man doesn’t deserve access to that side of me until he’s shown that he is respectful, considerate, and caring.
At the bare minimum, the people who have access to my yummy radiance must feel safe for my feminine energy.
Period.
I also firmly believe that men’s jokes hold little bombs of what they subconsciously feel to be true.
Sometimes we don’t want to make things tense so we laugh along, or dismiss the instance of discomfort, but you don’t have to override your feelings to keep anyone around.
Sharing your truth is a gift to everyone else around you because 1) your authenticity inspires theirs and 2) the people who care for you want you to be honest with what makes you feel loved.
But, one thing about a man is that he’s going to check your temperature—every single one of them do this.
When he does check it, let his hand burn.
You are a gatekeeper of life, a multiplier of abundance, and one of the most Godly beings on this planet, so man must approach you accordingly.
Thank you for this! I came over from YouTube. I didn’t know temperature checks was the name but I hated it after repeatedly failing them. Now though, it’s the weed killer. I learnt with experience and healing to just express your feelings in the present. Have a joyous day!