“I automatically turn very irritated and rude while communicating with my husband. What should I do about it? I know it’s not very feminine of me.”
Feminine communication is useful because it doesn’t reinforce the expectation for women to mute their emotions.
Men are socialized differently from women; they are often praised for being self-interested, immovable, and overall centered around their ego.
Women are not given these same graces AND we’ve been socially conditioned to center men.
The gag: centering men isn’t going to bring many benefits—and it’s going to ruin your self-esteem.
This brings to mind a family I nannied for.
The mother was a sweetheart, and she was also very emotionally numbed.
I never heard her articulate that she resented her husband, but it was clear in how she spoke.
And, honestly, I understand why—he would invalidate her emotions, leave most of the chores to her, and come home late from playing golf.
The unfortunate reality of why she ended up in this relationship is that she picked a partner from her masculine energy.
He was in his feminine energy because this is how romantic polarity works: you can have an emperor who provides masculine energy or a hanged man who is stuck in his feminine energy.
So, you being snappy IS you being in your feminine because that is how you authentically show up to this situation—it might not be conducive to emotional intimacy with your husband—but you’re simply embodying your savage feminine energy.
The simple answer: You are probably being snappy with him because you don’t like him right now.
And, that is okay.
A lot of us are scared to admit our negative emotions because that would suggest we have to change something about the way we’ve been operating.
It is okay if you don’t like your husband right now because you’ll probably be together for a long time anyway—ebbs and flows and growth and shifts are natural in all relationships.
I believe that the shifts will feel easier if you pick a man who is in his emperor energy from the first place—but if you didn’t know, then you didn’t know—and growth happens in all stages of life.
I don’t like that we’re blaming women for what they did not know in the past—society was different even 10 years ago.
I’m much more inclined to believe that people, particularly women, are nuanced.
Feminine energy did not become a widely known concept until recently—so if you chose a man when you didn’t know that you could experience better then I don’t think you’re to blame.
You were conditioned by society to choose a man from your masculine energy.
If you’re now trying to do the inner work—please be kind to yourself.
The dynamic that feels best: when the woman is able to embody empress energy; that’s why people say you should be with a man who likes you more—because then he’s more likely to embody emperor energy.
This is also why I do not advocate for 50/50 relationships because a man who is with his empress is likely going to feel embarrassed if he lets her pay.
Here’s how you can resolve feeling irritated towards your partner:
1. Feel Your Feelings: Acknowledge and validate your emotions.
Let yourself feel without judgment or suppression.
Understand that your feelings are giving you cues as to what you like and don’t like.
I help my 1–on–1 coaching clients do this, but I’m almost at max capacity.
2. Learn How to Communicate Your Needs While Bypassing His Ego: Approach conversations with him through a lens of “we” as opposed to telling him what he is doing wrong.
For example, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to manage the household alone. I need help with these tasks.”
The “soft feminine” section of my feminine communication course is all about communicating in a way that will bypass a man’s ego.
3. Rediscover Your Feminine Energy: Find activities that help you channel your creative essence.
As you learn how to channel your feminine energy, it will be easier to manifest more masculine energy in your partner because then you become the reciprocal for it.
Plus, channeling your feminine energy is going to help you feel more balanced and fulfilled.
P.S. Following the huge response to my viral video, I only have 3 coaching slots left.
This is the last chance to work closely with me and transform your life using my unique, (insanely) effective methods.
Secure your spot now before they’re all taken by responding to this email or filling out the coaching application here.